Break Up

My heart is mine for the time being.
This constant dull ache. It's back again. The night before, I pleaded to the heavens, I don't want to go through this again.
Right now. It seems so unclear, why, why, why, what happened. I thought it was all fine. But seven years, it really does seem too long. I could've waited a lil' longer, but that is the lazy option. This bond that entangles my heart, rather than uplift it. The cool-headed logic stays an echo. It is still painful.
It wasn't so bad.
I cling on to the last words she said. "If i am to repent somewhere in the future, may i be cursed or damned, i will enter it with the correct attitude." What the fuck did I do. Why did I do this. Somewhere in my mind, a cheery voice says, "But hey, what better to speed up your growth?" In a very sad and sick way, yes, it is right.
To the world, the world would never comprehend. Between the two of us, we know that beyond this, that, what was, there is an ideal we seek to fulfil. This, this is just a prelude. I saw a gap of ten years in my so-called visions. This is practice. All parts of me scream against it, save for this small beam of light from the future, and the things to come.
Unfit, now. Unsuitable. Insufficient. Maybe, at the end of the road.

But for now. That is untrue. The dull ache remains. And the trundle of life.