There is something strange about this parting, because I'll not actually be gone until August. But still, tonight is the last night of my degree. The city sleeps, while I sit here in my room packing odds and ends away. I wept profusely earlier this afternoon after listening to the soundtrack of Brideshead Revisited, and I thought it was because one of my friends was leaving tomorrow. But then I realised it was for this city. I will not return to this place as a student, as a trainee of life. The magic of Oxford holds only for those who are still hacking away at the giant wall of ignorance within the city walls. And tonight, I'll be politely but firmly escorted out of the ivory tower. Gone are the days of carefree strolls around the lake, or listening to the sea of ancient trees and leaves in the wind like the crashing of waves. Gone are the days of playing a vicious game of Monopoly before bed, or of punting at negligible costs. Gone are the days of having a pint in the Eagle and Child while wondering where Tolkien used to sit, or the endless discussions about everything and nothing, about God and life, and truth and love, and other people. The joys of student life lie in its freedom. At this point in life, one's mind is at its peak but one is also without the burdens of tiresome living. One is only expected to sit and learn, to observe and form ideas about the universe, to think and explore. I do not know what lies ahead, and I think when I leave, I'll never return to its warm embrace. But, maybe, maybe. Maybe I'll return in a different way, and live a different life in this gorgeous place. Perhaps, it is better to look at it in a different light, through different eyes. Perhaps, that is what's meant for me. Perhaps.
