I can't say that I'm depressed. I'm fine.
Other than the fact that my hopes were dashed. Maybe it's not. It's just much harder now, to get what I want. Julliard shall henceforth be called the Tissue college. Why is it called the Tissue College? coz I wrote the School's info on a piece of tissue and pinned the tissue on my board.
That's how desperate I was to get there.
Till I realised that they only held live auditions, no audition tapes or Internet conferencing. How am I supposed to get to US? I planned it out.
It's not that difficult to accumulate enough cash for a two-way air ticket. Nor is it that difficult to go there with nobody realising.
Then, I started looking around at famous Brit actors, comedians. Like John Cleese. He went to Cambridge, and started his career as a CCA. I can consider that.
Do you know how painful it is to have your hopes dashed and destroyed again and again? By your own family, sometimes.
I don't know. And things didn't really turn out well today.
Well, at least, things were more beautiful yesterday.
For the first time in such a long while, I sat down with nir and waited for the sunset. Just talking and cuddling and stuff. Decent enough to be seen in the school field, that is. Nir was, is, beautiful.
The reason why I love her so. Beautiful.
But today wasn't all that great. At all.
Sometimes, people just wish time would stay still. Yesterday would have been the best day. I miss it already.
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